chaos EXPOSED

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but it seems like my future has made a turn for the better. Can I say thank goodness for holidays and alcohol? Not that I'm a big drinker at all, but gatherings in China are surrounded by the presence of alcohol; or should I say that holidays in China are surrounded heavily by alcohol. Did I mention, I work for a liquor company?

The point is, tonight I made some new friends at work at our annual dinner party. I actually went up to people and conversed with them in Chinglish and have established that we actually do have things in common. Furthermore, earlier today, I asked my manager for a "status update" on my work. He answered that he has seen much improvement and I should not worry myself about my performance. Tonight, especially after some booze, he confessed that I should never have to ask about my "performance status" because no matter if I do anything wrong or right, he is there to support me.

This took me by surprise.

My higher management boss has resembled my father (Hi Dad! I know you're reading this) in some ways: a mentor, but extremely stern - and sometimes unnecessarily.  While I still look up to my dad more, duh, my boss has his way of showing disappointment in people with a clear expression in his face and voice and I can tell you, I get this quite often.  Sadly, I think I am still looking for approval in a childish kind of way and terrified of disappointing my boss. Perhaps tonight I have come upon a revelation where I should not feel like I am always disappointing my bosses, but instead I'm taking many burdens from them.

Like I said, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Only time will tell, but I pray that it only gets better from here.

Now the question is... where to go for Chinese New Year?!?!

I realize my last post was a bit depressing, considering I got a few e-mails and messages from friends worried about my well-being. I'm doing fine, I just need to embrace the power of positive thinking. Chinese New Year is around the corner and I still have no idea what I'm doing for the paid holiday. Originally I was supposed to head up to Harbin again for the ice festival, but this time around I am not prepared for -30 degrees Celsius! I don't even have the right winter clothes for Shanghai...and it so happens to be a rare year where it actually snows!

I've been looking at some plane tickets to go to Hainan, the Hawaii of the 'East'. But of course, tickets are at an exorbitant price during CNY and it'll be extremely crowded.  There are so many places to visit in China, but the weather just isn't "spring break" weather and I hate being confound within this country! I would be jet-setting back to Thailand if I could!

Anyhow, I am starting to look into other industries to work in and have spoken to one of my bosses about it. She is actually helping me plan out my future career, since I don't think it'll be in marketing. I have lined up a few meetings this week and next week with PR & advertising firms around Shanghai and hopefully they see what I'm passionate about, since right now I'm not even too clear about what I want, I just know I want to learn more than I am now!

I'm finally going to get internet in my apartment this weekend, so my blog and Facebook will finally be updated of long overdue photos.  In the meantime, help me think of where to go this 'spring break'!

I finally got a new VPN and can I just say that VPNs are a miracle of life when you're living in an internet prison.

Anyway, I am a working woman now, slaving my days away at my corporate cubicle facing the bathroom (at least I'm close to it!). The 36th floor of Plaza 66 stares out into the vast and hazy Shanghai skyline but unfortunately, I don't face the window to actually be able to see the sights. This first month at the new job has posed to be a challenge.  While I believed I was culturally aware of life in Shanghai, work life proves much more difficult. Everyone speaks Shanghainese and my Mandarin Chinese isn't even up to par.  My co-workers look at me as an outsider, even though I am ethnically Chinese. If not for the brand ambassador who was hired the same day I was, I would have no friends at work. Depressing! Even more sad, the brand ambassador is always traveling, so pretty much half the time I am alone! Such an opposite experience as New York where all my friends were at work. This has made me appreciate my friends who stayed from USA Pavilion.  Although, most of them are back home for the holidays now.

My contract is for 3 years at this company and I don't know if I can stay here for much longer.  I love the experience I'm gaining and my prospective career goals could be easily achieved with this experience, but China seems to want me to leave. I can't go into much detail about it now, but I sure hope I can stay (and my boss warms up to me.)

But that's enough about work, snore.
I recently moved into my new apartment off of Nanjing West road, which for those who don't know is like the 5th Avenue of New York City. I say this because all the lux brands line this street and if I can't clearly describe it... Prada is on the same floor as the 2nd floor of my office. The rest of Plaza 66 is filled with the designer brands and lux goods.

We just celebrated Christmas as well, which was my first Christmas away from family. I was so grateful that my roommate's Italian friend arrived just in time for the holidays. She taught me how to make Italian food and we cooked for 12 people on Christmas Eve. I met Chinese-Italians, an English couple, some more Italians, and another Californian.  It was definitely a nice first Christmas in Shanghai, but I hope to spend next Christmas with my family.

New Year's Eve should be crazier than last year as well.  The same friends from Christmas rented 2 party buses and the plan is to hop from club to club and ring in the new year.

I do have to say, 2010 has been the best year of my life. I got to live the dream in New York city staring at the Empire State building every night. Then, moved to Shanghai where I met 79 other Americans just as enthusiastic about Shanghai as I am. I had the opportunity to travel to Thailand with friends, one of my life-long dream travel destinations. Now settled in Shanghai, I'm working a corporate job in Plaza 66, living on Nanjing West road staring out to the JW Marriott and the Pearl Tower. I couldn't have asked for a more fun-filled, adventurous, constant-high year. I know I can't expect too much out of 2011 since 2010 rocked, but I am ready to continue the excitement.